Toast is comforting. So I decided to make some toast. I woke up in a rough state. Feeling disappointed about a few things that were taken out of my control (not that they were in my control to begin with.) I was feeling distinctly disgusted by the glamour of the industry I’m in. I was racked with concern about the planet’s food and plastic production (it’s getting hard to tell the difference between plastic and food.) I was thinking about some newly-proposed, ridiculously restrictive adoption policies in some US states (puh-leeze…we have a planetary overpopulation issue, and millions of good people who would love to adopt.) I was also pissed off about Facebook’s ever-changing algorithms and the politics of clicks that promotes noise… and directly correlates to my business’ bottom line.
As I was buttering my gluten free toast and grumbling, I went to this default thought-form: I’m soooo fucking tired.
But that didn’t feel true this time. I did a quick psych n’ life inventory: I sleep great. I’m really healthy. I eat clean. I’m grateful for pretty much EVERYTHING in my life. I make what I want to make, how I want to make it; I say what I have to say, when I want to say it — and I feel powerful because of that. My life is full of true friends and my house is full of flowers.
And then came the revelation:
I wasn’t tired.
I was angry.
And I was angry for all the right reasons.
Of course there are times — perhaps entire years, when we are bone-baked exhausted. But being fed up is not the same as being fatigued. In the seasons when we are vivacious and brimming with life, we can’t let ourselves slip into the reflex of heaviness.
“I’m tired” can be a false story that keeps us from our power for change.
I’m pissed off on a regular basis. I think that’s an appropriate response to the times we’re living in.
If you’re tired, be tired. Rest. You’ll get back to rising when you can. But…
If you’re all kinds of radiant, and you’re simultaneously enraged at the state of affairs — then mix that energy and drink up. It’s the fuel you need for the work you want to do.