There’s a difference between having good boundaries and creating barriers. Boundaries are proactive, on the offence, barriers are hyper-actively on the defense.
Think of it this way:
Boundaries are like a fence with a gate—the energy can come and go. You know you’re protected.
Boundaries say, this works for me, this doesn’t. And because you’ve made those clear declarations—about your standards—then you can be at peace within your gate. You can chill because you have told the world how you prefer to be treated.
Barriers are like a shield that you drag around—ready to defend yourself from attacks.
It’s not very peaceful. Being on guard all the time is anxiety-inducing.
Are you going to ask me to work overtime?
Are you going to talk mean to me?
Are you going to take me for granted—again?
You can’t relax because you haven’t made any declarations.
Standing by your boundaries takes some practice. And your boundaries may offend someone. You might break someone’s heart, and your heart will break for them. Because you are a good person. This is very counter to the general New Age vibe—but you could create disharmony with your boundaries.
When you let people take advantage of you, when you ignore the mismatch between their actions and their words, when you let someone call you things that you are not, you are disrespecting the Truth of your being. That is the ultimate disharmony. And no true good can come of it.
Protect your heart so that you can keep it wide open.