New Friends Forever playlist. Heart melter.
Relationships + Society
One of the most helpful things you can do for your friends: Be a witness to what’s working.
I N C L U D E S A U D I O • Most of us don’t need more advice or constructive criticism. We need to be witnessed in what’s working, in what we’re doing “right” to create our ideal life.
Yo’ mama wants a gift card for her desires. (And you can Mother’s Day shop in one click.)
(And you can Mother’s Day shop in one click.) Give the gift of experience. Of creation, and discovery, and joy.
The (All New!) Ask-A-Friend Survey… and my bestie & me getting cozy
You can download the all new Ask-A-Friend Survey here! And then, go ahead. Send it and get closer.
The Higher Purpose of Conflict
There’s no way around conflict, you can only go through it.
Your Most Precious Thing. Shaking up your attachments.
This contemplation is about getting to the bottom of your heart, and gasping for air while you’re down there, only to see how empty and full you are. Empty. Full. Same time. You’re up for it.
Examine your envy
You just never can know the machinations of someones else’s Soul — their karma, their dharma, their story. Maybe they’re learning precisely what they need to learn in this lifetime to become self-actualized, maybe they’re struggling to get free, maybe they’re an enlightened being who’s come to stir shit up so we can learn compassion. Life only knows.
Strong, vulnerable men.
Deep and medium tones. Tall, short, fat, fit, straight, gay, brown, white, grey, tattooed. Alone and in chorus. All men. Now the women were catching each other’s eyes in a shared “Like, holy wow,” kind of knowing. And we weren’t just misty-eyed, many of us were weeping — that kind of big-tear cry that you try to muffle by holding your breath because it’s so deep and true, and it’s been living in your body for a long time. Ya, that cry. The women were melting into a puddle of gratitude and respect.
What do you trust? An exercise for strength and mind-cooling.
Before a big gig or a super-charged opportunity I do a trust ritual with myself. I started doing it on airplanes to cool my mind down after my strategic wheels had been in overdrive. Often we’re so busy trying to get our endorphins fired up to go get ‘em!, we can forget that simply feeling comforted is a very powerful — and useful state of being.
We give what we can, when we can. A very simple story.
I’ve been meeting every month with the same five women for seven years. Goddess Night, we call it. Of course it’s a divine lifeline. And of course, we bring food. When we first started meeting my boy was a newborn and my first company was taking off, and I was five kinds of exhausted. I’d usually show up late to Goddess Night. My contribution to a beautiful potluck spread would be like, a bag of chips. Or half a sack of store bought cookies…
Truth telling. (The daringly happy and ebullient kind.)
What about the purely positive truths that make you shy to share? They’re so bright and electrically charged that you fear they might blind their receiver, or you’ll just look all gushy and soft and love foolish. …
What if forgiveness isn’t about forgiving? Thoughts on consciously relating to people who have hurt you.
When I approach forgiveness as a goal, it actually blocks me from my truth and love. In the past, when I’ve set out to forgive someone I just get all twisted up with who did what and why, and I start looking to validate my rightness. …
Your friends, your freedom, and getting off your ass for Love.
I don’t have many regrets in this life. But of the few that linger, it’s distinctly the times that I missed out on time with friends. The two weddings I didn’t go to because I was too broke for the airfare. (Being late on rent wouldn’t have gotten me evicted. Maxing out a credit card would have done the trick. I could have borrowed the money from … a friend.) The friend I didn’t visit in the hospital because I was on a book deadline. The birthday party I didn’t get to because of a minor inconvenience…
Desire. Orgasm. Shakti power. An interview for women and the men who love them.
Lisa Schrader and I jammed on all kinds of power questions and concepts for her Shakti Summit. Deep bow to the Shakti love. Listen in here…
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be free? (Choose “free.”)
I was in court over a sour business deal. I walked into that boardroom certain of two things: I was right about who owed who what, and I was not caving in.
Want to improve your communication skills?
We open our mind to assumptions but keep our mouths shut. We lock down. We just don’t say anything….
Online cliques and how to make “the ask.” In conversation with Kate Swoboda.
This is a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for a while. Online cliques. The scene – behind the scenes, inside hearts – my heart. We hit notes like: What it takes it to make it a “yes,” and why you should stop taking it so personally….
Don’t do me any favours: When favours are good, and when they are bad.
Favours are good. And bad. And divine. And dangerous. Favours are … complicated business.
From celebration to devastation, who can you call at 2 a.m.?
We’ve decided that being able to call someone at 2am is our new metric of love… Treasured, indispensable, no matter what, sacred circle….
The first thing to say to a friend in need.
Well, that sucks. That’s the very first place to start. Sympathy is a healer, it coagulates the bleeding. It won’t drag them down if you validate their pain. It doesn’t mean you condone how they got into the pickle, or the fact that they may be bitching about the same chump after seven years, or that they done gone did it again — or any of that fairly useless judgement and assessing…
Eventually, you have to stop blaming your parents.
A shrink friend of mine said the most common pattern he saw in human behavior was that people didn’t start really living until their parents died. That’s a lot of lives only one third lived. That plague-of-a-condition stymies us from breakthroughs and realizing astoundingly positive possibilities for humankind. It’s that serious…
How to Start a Mastermind Group. Jen Louden + I Jam on the Power of Your People.
Everything I’ve accomplished has had inner circle support – sleeves-rolled up kind of support. No secrets, soul-bared, nuts and bolts hashing it out. Late nights in living rooms, emergency cellphone calls on street corners. Power advice by texts. Three-day retreats with coloured pens, calendars out and red wine. You get the idea….
The Incremental Commitment Formula. Realistic Give ‘n Take.
One-step-at-a-time commitment creates traction. It’s about being responsive to reality — it gives you leeway for mutual accountability, for prerogatives to be exercised, and for the self-motivated players to motivate themselves…. and THAT’S something you can commit to.
What’s your favourite piece of advice that you’ve been given?
When you wonder if today’s “problems” actually have enough gravity to be on your shoulders in three years time, you lighten up. And fast.
The Dangerous Terrain of Unnecessary Dream Shrinkage
The cosmos doesn’t measure sweat + hours for reward. The cosmos deals in the currencies of joy and satisfaction.åç
How To Be Classy When It Doesn’t Work Out The Way You Expected. The Grace of Loss.
Loss brings out our truest self. And while natural grace doesn’t come naturally to all of us — especially when we lose — it can be cultivated…
sincerity isn’t a contractual thing
Admiration. Sincerity. True love. These are the rewards of putting great stuff into the world for the sake of putting great stuff into the world. Hopes for reciprocity? They’re healthy to have. >> more on integrity branding + communications…
what’s one dumb thing that you used to believe in?
The One Is the One because you say they are. It’s the partner you choose, the partner you declare sacred, the partner to whom you vow, in your own way, to love like they’re the only One.
impromptu diarizing + divine promo tips : july’s white hot round-up
It would seem that I’m hooked on finding a teachable moment in everything. It remains extremely likely that I will never be a diarist. But here’s a new kind of hello…
the possible meaning of fleeting feelings
She left him because he left on his socks. And she told him that.