When I was going through my divorce I was forecasting with a friend what the future might look like for my ex and me in terms of “friendship” or no friendship. That wise sister said, “You just need to let it ALL fall apart before you can put it back together.” Too right. I used to do interior design work, (paid the bills while I wrote my first book proposal). What’s the best way to re-organize a room? Tear it all apart. Take everything out and then put it back together.
Half truths piled on top of half truths do not add up to the whole truth. It’s just a heap of “not-quite-there-ness.” Grey. Cluttery. If you want satisfaction you have to do the good, hard work of burning down the little lies and resistances. Tear it DOWN.
The fire of truth can be massively destructive. And then… then comes the solution, the healing, the building, the flight.
Before you give your heart away… (and I hope you give your heart away,) cut-cut-cut the cords from your old lover, nuke your expired hopes (they are holding you back), erase your broken yesterday from your story. Gut the pain. Have a dream funeral.
Before you start the Next Big Creative Outpouring… crush your gimmicks, throw out your trophies, clean your desk, set the people free who should be working elsewhere, clear your calendar with a big declaration of No Thank You. White gesso the canvas. Delete the files that bring up shitty memories. Why not? This is your script to write.
Destroy before you create.
It may take time to dismantle and carry away the refuse of what you refuse to take into your future. But I know this — it’s worth it. The fire, the emotional gutting, being misinterpreted as you cut-cut-cut the cords. It’s all worth it. The future you desire deserves your full attention and wide…open…space.