Here’s a beautiful notion to consider: You already have a lot of what you want, in places you may have overlooked, in different packaging than you may have expected, and hidden in plain sight.
Here’s the principle:
WHAT DO YOU WANT . . . THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE? What are you longing to do/experience + have/give? Hone in on your strongest desire. And look at where you already have that quality, feeling, or experience in your life—you might have to dig deep to find it. That’s okay. Even if it’s just a subtle sensation, you will find it somewhere.
Let’s say you want to laugh more with your significant other. It’s part of your deeper craving for intimacy and joy. Currently, you’re not laughing much with your person and you’re feeling sad and getting bitter about it. The pressure is on for some delight to happen. Understandable.
We want to alleviate some of that intense craving, because it can muddy our thinking. So we need to identify that long-for energy somewhere else in your current life—someone in your life must be filling your funny cup.
Maybe. . . you already have your best girlfriend who makes you laugh your ass off every week. And dude at work is good for some champion sarcasm every day. So note to self: Call your bestie more, thank her for sparking your joy, and let work dude know that he’s a comic genius. Focus on the laughter that you do have in your life, even if it’s not currently from the direct source that you want it from. Take the pressure off the object of your craving for a minute.
See the positivity already flowing through your life. Resist the temptation to compare it to what you’re lacking in other areas of your life. Just keep appreciating, appreciating, appreciating what’s working, where it’s working.
Why? Because this practice of perspective comforts your nervous system. And when your nervous system calms down, you can make better choices and respond more fully to every situation in your life.
Start somewhere. Sometimes it’s a stretch. But this action starts to rinse away lurking victim mentality and move you into self-agency—a stronger place where you feel more capable of bringing in what you desire.
Here’s what happens when you find evidence of fulfillment in your current reality:
You take the desperation out of your wants and needs, you will think more clearly and act more calmly.
Because you’re appreciating more in your life, you’ll cling less to what you want—and that lighter touch helps your creative energy flow.
Things can come to you more easily when you’re feeling more at ease—and you ease up on the people around you, so they can be themselves and maybe even meet you where you’re at in your desires.
You generate gratitude—which is a transformative force.
And! You might realize that you, and some of the people you love, are further along than you’ve been giving yourself or them credit for. A lot in your life and relationships is working.
The future you desire is showing up in your present. Grow it with gratitude.