When I am at my finest, I am “Divine Medicine Woman.” When I’m not, I’m the “Impeccable Street Sweeper.” These aren’t my tribal names, or monikers given to me from a guru. They’re even better. They’re the “Ways of Being” that my “Integral Revolution” coaching program with Chela Davison unearthed. And they profoundly changed the way I “be” in my world. When I was checking just five more emails before I went to bed, I was sweep-sweep-sweeping. When I scanned my to-do list for just one more thing that I could check off before I let myself out to play, I was sweeping. When I felt rushed to leave a party or zoom home from the park … sweeping — always feeling like I was working for someone else, even tho’, ha! I’ve worked for myself for years. And the thing with sweeping — impeccably — is that the work is never done — especially when one’s career is taking off. Sweep sweep. Sweep.
So Chela designed a Coaching Topic for me (sharing this with you feels like I’m letting you look in my panty drawer, but you’re worth it).
My Coaching Topic:
What: To fill out and make manifest my most precious gifts with gentle devotion. Why it’s important: Because you’re ready to take your life as an artist to a new place. You want to experience fulfillment and peace during the creative process while optimizing your results. You want a sense of quality and integrity to inform the work you create, without the pressing anxiety that can be associated with it.
So over the course of 10 months, I began to create the inner — and outer — conditions that helped me make “my medicine,” my art, my best work, that ideally, nourishes me and others in both the making and the giving. It was uncomfortable. I had to sledgehammer some mental structures. And! for the love of the Modern Goddess it was soooo liberating! I unstrapped years of “shoulds” off my back — and I found wings – massive wings.
I shifted to more fully using my Soul as a the discerner of what to say Yes to and what to say No, thank you to. And the guilt around saying No, thanks dissolved into zeroness.
I got better at allowing my subtle body sensations inform my sense of what was needed in any given moment. Most simply — and most effectively — I started noticing my energy level as I was about to engage with a project/task/person. And I heeded those sensations.
I burned my broom and and I started using my magic medicine bag to make stuff — precious, useful, feels-divine-to-share-it stuff. The ONLY stuff I want to spend my time making.
Chela is still my coach. It’s been two rather artful and wildly productive years since I stepped through that first program with her. And for two years, I’ve carried my coaching topic notes around in my Moleskines, re-reading them on airplanes, on holidays, ever asking myself: What do I need in order to making my most divine medicine? The answers always lead me back to center — where