I thought that the ability to feel more deeply would give me access to solace, that special area reserved for The Feelers.
But as it turns out, I just get more adept at crying and then carrying on.
Cry. Crusade. Repeat.
You know? I know you know. The Feelers. The Connecteds. They always know.
I opened my heart more to let you in, and then I noticed so many people in line behind you, wanting an embrace.
The more love that I brought down through my cells, the more lesions surfaced on my own skin.
The more light I transmitted, the more darkness I saw.
The more I connected, the lonelier I felt.
The more I gave, the more they tried to take.
The more faith I generated, the more I questioned: What the fuck is going on here?
Where I wept only for myself, now I weep for all of us and the Earth herself. Often.
And not everyone weeps. And this is part of the problem.
No weeping, no cleansing. No cleansing, no clarity. No clarity, no solutions. No solutions, no union. No union, no pleasure.
So I’m going to keep crying about the state of things.
Because that same pain is where I find the most power and inexplicable, unrelenting joy…
This is my love affair with the Light and the darkness that she contends with.
I am so in Love.
It makes me cry every kind of tear.