“I’m looking forward to getting my life back.” That was my quick response when a friend asked me how I felt about my book deadline. “…getting my life back.” What kind of reflection was that on the previous nine months of my life? Was all that time I’d spent (intensely) focused on creating something meaningful, was that not my life, the life that I’ve worked my whole life to choose?
Making things for other people expands you. After nine+ months of pulling ideas from the ethers and stitching them into this dimension, there’s no way I would be the same person as when I started. The life I had before wouldn’t fit anymore. I didn’t really want it back.
“Actually, you know,” I decided to correct myself, “This is my life right now. And it’s weird, and I love it. And I looked forward to this. So, ya, I’m right here.” After a long time of tight-roping from project to project, I felt like I climbed off the wire and started walking on the ground–where the rest of my life was.
Life is what happens on the way to the finish line.
Your finish lines are the exclamation point on how you’ve been living. The training, the making, the building, the learning, it’s not “preparation for tomorrow”, it’s your life today. The life you’re choosing. And if you’re not loving what it feels like between destinations, then get off the ride. Burn the itinerary. Fuck “motivation” and be still long enough to find your inspiration.
Because finish lines are always moving. And you’re a different person by the time you cross them. And in between desire and manifestation is right now.