Loves… I’m attempting to be useful in two ways today. BONUS.
1) Let’s talk about decision making, how to know when it’s right or wrong.
2) and how the ego loves to look good. And thus! how letting go of status concepts can be radically liberating and HEALING.
And a preface, or more accurately a request, let’s not give anyone sh*t about privilege and “first world problems,” k? “First world problems” is a totally uncool term, anyway (it insults a few billion humans.) Life lessons come in all forms.
EGO VEHICLES
I once had a black Audi A5 coupe with camel interior—which made it one-of-a-kind in the city. I named it Sacha—Euro soccer player, non? Sacha drove FAST, like silky rocket fuel. Sacha was a man magnet. Sacha was SEXY.
Never mind that buying a new car was a pleasure-hound, utterly dumb financial decision. Sacha made me feel HAWT and rich… like a global spiritual influencer should feel, right?
But soon, my son turned 16 and my Virgo Moon mom brain kicked in. No way was I letting my kid loose with a wet driver’s license and quattro-wheel drive. So I traded-in Sasha for a pre-owned VW Golf.
Golfie was NOT a man magnet. Golfie was not unique. But, Golfie was utterly stress-free. Golfie handled lighter, carried more friends—and our new puppy rode in the hatch. Golfie was PLAYFUL.
Friends would ask me how I liked the VW. How was I fairing with my status symbol demotion? My answer, “Oh my God. What a relief! Golfie is my favourite car, ever. Never going back. So much more free.”
Less status. More me. More LIFE. With one less object defining me, I felt lighter.
[BTW, now I don’t even own a car. I use the city’s car share program. Clearly, I have become a Buddha.]
HABITAT AS TEMPLE
Recently I was living in a deeeluxe apartment by the beach (after I let go of Sacha, I also blessed + released my house, my studio, and most of my wardrobe.) Thanks to an attempted reno-viction, which I talk about here, I chose to move out of the deluxe place.
I narrowed down my new apartment search to two radically different places.
OPTION 1: BEACHY SWISHY. Another beach row place. I’d keep my spectacular oceanfront yard—which I’d become very very very attached to. “The view is essential for my creativity, darling.” It would fit all my stuff. Management was laid back. My visitors could be healed by the view and salty air. That building was also planning to reno, but I thought, I’m agile, I can move again in a few years. Expensive and expansive.
But I felt STRESSED about it. My head was on fire with the pros and cons. Even though the cost was less than my deluxe rent, it felt… grabby. I got opinions from 900 people about moving in. I delayed signing the lease.
These ARE NOT green-lights for decisions:
I couldn’t see the signs because I was overly attached to needing an ocean view to be more creative.
Status-seeking and mis-identification (as types, roles, bodies…) muddle decision making.
OPTION 2: COZY ZEN. At the end of a cul-de-sac, QUIET, best rent in town—with fab light. But! No ocean view, my office would overlook a parking lot, it’s so much smaller that I’d have to let go of a lot of stuff. There are “safety” surveillance cameras in the hallways (me and my authority issues,) and, gasp, no en suite laundry.
Enter one of my besties, Joshua.
“I think this is like the Audi and VW decision. Remember how you ended up loving the Golf even more?! You were happier!”
Right! That was it! Downgrade to upgrade.
I’m writing this today from COZY ZEN, on a too big-for-this room dining table. The smallness makes me feel held and easeful. My craving for nun-level simplicity is quenched. This is cosmopolitan-monastic. The VW Golfie of apartments. Like me. Less ‘schmance. More LIFE.
TRUE IDENTITIES
The ego masks its self worth issues with status symbols, levels and labels—whatever that means in our own culture. Could be a Birken bag, an old John Deere, or being able to buy lottery tickets on payday.
It’s hard to feel what’s real when we play the, “do I look worthy?” game. We numb out to our authentic selves. We lose touch with what feels comforting and comfortable. And FUN.
It isn’t a value judgement on what turns us on, or how much we accumulate or burn. A car collection does not make someone less spiritual. Intentionally living with less doesn’t necessarily make you more inclusive.
“More you, more LIFE” could be big ‘n first class. Could be owning the whole highrise with a great mortgage rate while you invest your capital in metals and AI. It could be a tiny house and thrifted flannels.
Are we building a brand and calling it a life, or are we building a REAL LIFE? Are your choices a reflection of the most comfortable—and comforting You?
Downsizing as a spiritual practice is about finding the right fit for your True Self. Beyond logic. Beyond labels. More you, more LIFE.
Love from the cul-de-sac,
I’m doing a Zoom call about EGYPT TRIPS. If you’re coming on this April trip or are interested in it—or trips in the future (!)… bring your questions + invite your friends.
Save the date: THURSDAY, MARCH 13 at 4pm PT | 7pm ET.
ZOOM LINK IS HERE and we’ll send you the recording if you can’t make it live.
P.S. You can press play and listen to every issue of THE SACRED. I’m running the audio version of this (which is way more ad-lib and funny) on my podcast WITH LOVE, DANIELLE.
So every Friday a new SACRED drops here, and you can hear it wherever you like to listen to podcasts. Double down! xo
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INNER SUN
Spring Equinox Meditation
The INNER SUN Spring Equinox Meditation is a direct way to tap into your inner Light—your True Nature—and then pour that healing energy outward, into your life and the people in your life.
Equinoxes are powerful windows for setting healing intentions—and this one is bringing extra Light. And I know… that YOU know… that we ALL need this.
Thursday, March 20 at 7am PT | 10am ET
Our Equinox + Solstice Group Meditations are always free.
