REST YOUR PAIN STORY

Okay, this is just a suggestion. I’m going to back into it.

There’s so much healing that can come from disclosure and having our pain witnessed—by friends, therapists, healers (all interchangeable terms). We need to talk it out. We bring our shadow into the Light of the relationship. Brilliant.

And… but…

Sometimes, we spend so much energy therapizing and “working with it” that the hurt can become a whole character in our life. “The thing that happened” comes with us to our new relationships. Or it keeps showing up in our social media posts, and every time we talk about or think about our future, there’s “the thing that happened” distracting us from what’s possible.

There’s a time, and it’s usually sooner than we’d like, that we need to stop telling “the thing that happened” story. It’s not to minimize the trauma or a tough event, it’s so we can actually heal.

Every time we talk about the same painful event in the same way, we’re feeding our subconscious that same vibration. I’m not suggesting that we never talk about our past again. (Though that’s not an entirely bad idea.) But what if we . . .

Only speak about our pain with the intention to heal it.

How do we pull that off? We bring a sacredness to the re-accounting. We regard the sharing of our pain as an important event, it’s not throw-away communication. You can be poetic or a hot mess. It doesn’t matter what we say, it’s how we approach it, and it’s who we’re approaching it with. We’re speaking about the pain because we actually want to heal it. 

We try to tell the story in a different way, a softer tone. Maybe we share fewer details. We pull back on the amount of people we share the pain story with. And eventually we won’t be talking about it much at all. And in direct proportion to that, the pain memory stops looping in our minds.

This is good, hard work. The ego-mind loves a replay and kvetch. It takes a lot of self Love to be in Loving silence when our woundedness wants to get attention. But the best medicine is to rest the mind, rest in love and rest the story.