Issue 33 in audio—a Sacred Weekends exclusive.
I’m waiting for my partner to do our next therapy session to uncork with me. Our therapist books a few months out. In the meantime, I’m withdrawn and zipped UP. My default stress reaction = SHUTDOWN-FREEZE.
I’m waiting for my parasite cleanse to wrap up in six weeks before I start strength training. Right now I’m letting the fascination of de-worming distract me. So dumb. (I’ll have much to tell you about this down the road. O.M.Gross but AWESOME.)
I’m waiting to “get clear” if I want to own land. Even though for my entire life I’ve been aching for rural property with PRIVACY, a stream, and a donkey (donkeys are the new goats.)
Emotional intimacy, physical strength, creating home. These are powerful tributaries of self-expression—all kinda clogged for me ATM.
Bending time is usually my specialty! Without being an unreasonable cow about it, I just don’t see why most things can’t happen sooner. 😜Velocity is mostly a mindset.
So this “waiting to be self-expressed” bullshit that I have going in some areas of my life… it needs to stop. Now.
It’s agonizing to suppress your prana, your life force. Isn’t it? Clamming up and carrying half-truths sucks a lot of energy.
…
“Tired of waiting” is LITERAL. So why do we do it? Why do we wait to express ourselves or show up more fully?
3 reasons: Social conditioning, fear, and legit fatigue.
Fatigue. The cure to fatigue is either rest OR passion. Sometimes you need a nap, sometimes you need to go for a walk. Might need a sabbatical, might need to get turned on by a new project. Fatigue is the easiest to solve.
Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being let down and heartbroken. Fear of what you’ll find underneath what’s stuck. Fear of not getting what we want more than anything.
Dissolving fear, healing the psyche is a life-long process and it’s why we incarnate. Breathe, apply Love, repeat.
But the social conditioning of waiting to express ourselves, waiting to manifest, waiting to be fulfilled… THAT’S what needs to burn down. We know where it comes from. Toxic religions, capitalism, patriarchy. All constructs of the mind. Just. Like. Time.
…
I’ve been running myself through my Vision Builder process over and over these last few months. It’s: Desire Map + Heart Centered Planning + Metta Bhavana had a baby. It goes like this: we see our Ideal Life a few years out, then we bend time and see that Ideal Life happening much sooner. It’s fun with (meta)physics. There are steps, of course…
OBVIOUS SEGUE: My Vision Builder event (Sunday, Feb 2!) is going to be fire and I hope you’ll all come and get some friends in your living room to do it with you.
Back to the teachable: we’ve been trained to put off our power, to delay what’s waiting for us.
For starters, we’ve been inculcated into a fictitious calendar system. You know that Pope Gregory (hence “Gregorian”) took the Western world off the Lunar Calendar—which is synced with seasons and menstrual cycles, and rigged up a new system? The “new year” starting in the dead of winter? Rando months with 5 weeks? A leap year? Makes no sense. Sham-a-rama.
ANYWAY… back to the tragedy of waiting to express your power…
Don’t wait, love. Do it now. Do it however you can. Do it in morsels, it doesn’t have to be a banquet. Paint something tiny. Savasana is a yoga pose.
See what you want to create happening sooner. Because WHY NOT!? Thinking “sooner” will flood your mind in the best way with fresh energy and ideas. And that’s magnetic! Bring the future into the present and you will think and act more powerfully. I have so many stories to prove this. And more to come.
…
So…our couples counseling session is still a ways out. So I’m doing what I know I can do: writing. I’m communicating the deep stuff with my man in a series of letters. Expressed.
I can poop out worms AND take my fitness to the next level. It’s HAPPENING.
And that land-farm-retreat that I’ve been dreaming of—even though, for a bunch of reasons, it “makes no sense” to move now… I’m actively looking (in Canada, preferably BC.) The space, the financing, the timing, the donkey—they will line up. Sooner.
Babe:
You can burn through ten obstacles with one declaration.
You’re in charge of your self-expression.
And your calendar.
All for Love,
A SUNDAY KIND OF LOVE:
Sunday, February 2. The Vision Builder event. This is growthful and useful, my best stuff, up-leveling my own life. If you can’t be there live, you’re getting the e-book and video replay. VIP includes a Heart Centered Planner (and we’re throwing express shipping too). Treat your friends––this works for the woo-woo’s and the logicians. I’m so excited xo
Did an awesome friend forward this to you? Hope so!
Please become a regular: SUBSCRIBE HERE
Sign up for conversations to help us feel a little less alone, full of possibility, and very clearly part of the solution.